Archive for Thursday, November 30, 2000

What`s in a name, anyway?

November 30, 2000

The little birdie -- a.k.a., the gossipmonger -- has been busy in recent months around our office. It seems our fine-feathered friend has been doing a little moonlighting, picking up a little extra Christmas cash working as the stork.

It seems that 25 percent of our manpower -- that's merely two people, but it sounds so much more dramatic to put a percentage in front -- will be expecting little tax writeoffs in 2001.

Not being a gossipmonger, I am not at liberty to divulge the culprits, er, I mean, blessed duo, but it can easily be figured out by the process of elimination.

It's not me.

Nor is it office manager Theresa Abel, reporters Eric Gruber or Elvyn Jones, photographer Roger Nomer or advertising representative Amy Carey.

I was announcing the good news to my family the other night at dinner. Our 7-year-old daughter was quite interested in the news. But news like that doesn't come without the need for additional information.

It's a can of worms best left unopened.But, being nave about these delicate situations, I unintentionally opened it.

"I know how the baby comes out," Kaylin said as innocently as you can imagine. "What I wanna know is how he gets in there."

Ask your mother.

Lynne hemmed and hawed about birds and bees, flowers and petals and I have to admit, after listening, I was just as confused as Kaylin. Finally, Lynne gave the mother's standby answer, which can be adapted to just about any uncomfortable situation.

"Honey, someday it will all make sense."

Not sure if that reply was meant for me or for Kaylin, but I anxiously await the day that it does make sense.

It seems the news of little ones coincides nicely with a recent report by the Kansas Department of Health and Environment, which obviously has a little free time on its hands now that that mad cow disease scare was just a hoax.

KDHE issued its annual report on the most popular names for babies in the last year. I'm surprised it has the time, energy or manpower to devote to such an endeavor, but I have to admit, it is a far more interesting press release than the one it issued last week regarding the Sunflower Wastewater Treatment plant.

It seems the good people at KDHE listed the top 25 names for both boys and girls last year and it made for an entertaining guessing game in the office.

Theresa Abel played the part of the quizmaster, while I was the contestant who went home with plenty of parting gifts.

It seems Kaitlyn (not to be confused with Kaylin) was the most popular name for a newborn girl in Kansas last year. In fact, there are 348 infants named Kaitlyn crawling around the Sunflower state.

Other popular names were Madison, Emily, Taylor, Hannah, Haley, Makayla, Alexis and Kaylee, which tops the list of having 42 different spellings.

Interlude: I have written the name Kaylee down on a piece of paper and tried to spell it as many different ways as possible. For the life of me, I can't figure out how it can be spelled 42 different ways.

As for the boys names, it seems Jacob was far and away the most popular name of the year, easily outdistancing Austin, 465-294.

Jacob, huh?

Jake for short, I'm sure. No doubt named after my favorite Melrose Place character, who managed to have an affair with every good-looking woman in his apartment complex (and since this was a TV apartment complex seen through the world of Fox, they were all rather foxy), but managed to keep them all as friends to the point where they spent their hard-earned dollars at his bar and grill.

What a guy, that Jake was. In my next life, I wanna be just like him.

Other popular names for boys were Nicholas, Michael, Joshua, Dylan, Tyler, Caleb, Brandon and Noah, which broke into the top 25 this year for the first time since, methinks, the days of the ark.

I certainly hope this partial list helps my expectant work mates in choosing names. I will be sharing the entire list with them soon just to give them some kind of guide as they embark on one of the most important things they will ever do.

You only get one chance to name your child. The pressure is on to do it right.

Commenting has been disabled for this item.